Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
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