My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize