I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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