so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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