I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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