everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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