so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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