Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
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i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
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After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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