it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize