come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize