Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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