Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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