Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize