I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
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My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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