By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
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And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
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after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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