first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize