I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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