i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize