Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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