remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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