Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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