When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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