Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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