I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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