A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this will be a night to untag.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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