I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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