just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't you send me to vm
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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