david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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