My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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