I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize