I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
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I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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