SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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