47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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