i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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