Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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