are you so shy because you have an std?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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