Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Randomize