and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize