fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize