I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize