I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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