hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
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She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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