and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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