I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize