I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His nipple licking is glorious
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