..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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