If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize