I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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