Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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