After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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